Am I One of Those ‘Weird Theatre People’? I Don’t Think So

I don't have any Broadway soundtracks on my iPhone. Many times, I'll be in the parking lot before a performance, and somebody will drive up, windows down, singing their guts out to some musical that I've never heard of. Visions swirl in their heads of standing on a stage, belting out a love ballad carefully crafted by a songwriting team of Rogers & Elton John. They dream of performing at the Tony Awards, vying for the "Best Lead Actor In A Musical" award. They are weird theatre people, and I'm not a theatre guy.

I don't understand theatre superstitions. If somebody says "Macbeth" in a theater, it's no big deal. If somebody says "good luck" instead of "break a leg," it will warrant a "thank you" rather than "that's bad luck!" "Getting into character" is a foreign concept to me. Pre-show traditions feel like a waste of my time. The ever-present theatre ghost is not a concern when you have no belief in the paranormal. All of these things are staples in the theatre world. These are things done by weird theatre people, and I'm not a theatre guy.

Unless I'm performing, I tend to be a very quiet person. Weird theatre people are loud. Very loud. Ridiculously loud. Go to a theatre party sometime. You probably won't notice any music playing in the background, because it's pointless. Theatre people will talk over it. Go to a rehearsal for a theatre show, particularly a musical or the Summer Mummers Olio. After running through a musical number or an Olio act, there is an immediate cacophony of weird theatre people talking about the act, joking about their mistakes, or going on about something completely unrelated to the show. And since they have to be heard above the din, they have to be loud as well. This happens multiple times a night. And if you've ever been seated next to a group of weird theatre people at a restaurant...my heart goes out to you. I've avoided many a dinner because I just don't feel like wearing out my voice or my ears, trying to engage in conversation. They are weird theatre people, and I'm not a theatre guy.

I don't suddenly tell people about my entertainment ventures, and I'm hesitant to talk about it if asked. Weird theatre people don't mind being asked and will offer up any information freely. In fact, there's a certain joy that they feel in being known as a weird theatre person. They wear t-shirts of old shows that they've been in. During a break between shows or rehearsals, weird theatre people will go to a restaurant in full makeup or even costumes. Many claim that it's easier than getting back into street clothes, taking off the makeup, and then putting it all back on again. Some will even cop to my suspicion that they dig the weird stares that they get. It feels icky to me. If I'm not doing a show, I don't want any attention, and wearing shorts and a t-shirt is exponentially more comfortable. I'll be the normal looking one eating with a circus of yahoos. They are weird theatre people, and I'm not a theatre guy.

This blog may surprise some. To others (like my wife), it's old news. There's a possibility that some of my fellow performers will be a bit offended by my attitude. I can't help it. I'm not a theatre guy. They are weird theatre people. And I love them so much.