The Academy Awards are this Sunday, and people are placing bets and getting generally riled up about who will be taking home Oscars. If time has taught us anything, however, it's that it's best to keep your cool this time of year, because in like 10 years you are going to be seriously embarrassed about that 'American Beauty' movie poster you had in your bedroom in high school...
You know what? Good. We want this guy to puke. He calls himself LA Beast and thinks a shirt that says "SWAG SWAG SWAG" is cool. The only reason we wouldn't want him to puke is that he has a whole YouTube channel that is just footage of him subjecting himself to "Xtreme" food challenges that ultimately result in barf, so we suspect he might actually enjoy throwing up...
Remember when Valentine's Day was awesome? You spent all day gluing construction paper to a shoe box, for the sole purpose of having people stuff it with cheap candy and cards from the pharmacy. Now it's just Someecards on Facebook and the orange creams are all that's left in the Whitman's sampler in the office kitchen.
Here are some of those cards you maybe used to get in your shoebox, if the teacher was too depressed to make you make your own Valentines. Happy Valentine's Day.
Being sad, alone and pathetic is sort of a specialty of mine. To give you an idea, I've definitely been humiliated by an airbrush artist at an amusement park, which I was visiting without any friends. So when it comes to Valentine's Day, I've basically mastered the art of being totally miserable. Feel free to join me, but it's going to be a pretty rough night. Let's get started, shall we?
Congratulations are in order for Ellen DeGeneres after last night's Grammys. She didn't win an award, but she did do something possibly better -- say what we were all thinking about Katy Perry's boobs. With her face. On camera. Take a look.
Left on her own without legal representation, this girl (who was awaiting arraignment for a first arrest) was in over her head. It probably also didn't help that she didn't get the sobering reality of being physically present in court to knock some sense into her, since this is a video arraignment taking place from jail, where she is nervous and surrounded by other inmates. Oh, and it doesn't help that this judge is clearly some kind of jerk.
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