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Copies of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Test Positive for Herpes

Fifty Shades of Grey
Andrew H. Walker, Getty Images

Ever wondered what diseases library books carry? You shouldn’t, because your local libraries need your help. Still, that didn’t stop two Belgian professors from running tests on the 10 most borrowed books in the Antwerp library and finding out what horrors lie between their spines.

The professors ran each book under a gamut of bacteriology and toxicology tests and found that in addition to all of them testing positive for cocaine (because what doesn’t test positive for cocaine?), copies of the ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ tested positive for herpes.

On the plus side — before you go screaming to the nearest doctor to get tested — books cannot pass on sexually transmitted diseases. Which is something we never thought we’d have to type.

The profs said that the traces of herpes were so tiny that they did not pose a health risk and that it would be impossible to get herpes merely by reading a book with herpes.

Still, makes you wonder how those copies got herpes in the first place. Wait, nope, nevermind. Don’t want to know.

Next: Remember Selena Gomez's 'Fifty Shades' Parody?

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